Surely the Chadbon TV spectacular must be finished by now. They could follow us down and Groucho could save us once more! (we really need a Groucho smiley ).

Nelson will choke to death on a pringle, years before Waterloo

Therefore, I shall make sure I eat every single one of those there Prawn Cocktail Pringles.
Aren't I brave???

Nelson?? Waterloo???
Oh dear, I fear the changes in history are already beginnng...

Don't keep them all for yourself! Be kind and share them with OSP!

I’m more concerned that Wellington would no longer exist to lead us to victory at Trafalgar.

I got an A in history

I've worked out a cunning plan as to how we can escape:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MdKCN...dKCNYpMM6w

So, wait until the guards thrust their hips. I see a tiny flaw in that plan...

Quick TT! Set up the portable TV, Blu-ray player and B7 S1 set you always carry around under your hat.

Marmalade sandwiches? Pshaw! Strictly for amateurs.

I'm not sure how to tell you this, but I got rid of all that stuff under my hat to replace it with a supply of meat feast pizzas and a couple of bottles of ketchup.

Weird? (Splutter, splutter!) What's weird about the pronunciation of Slough, Cirencester, Warwick, Leicester, and Cholmondeley?

Weird? (Splutter, splutter!) What's weird about the pronunciation of Slough, Cirencester, Warwick, Leicester, and Cholmondeley?

Not to mention that you park on a driveway and drive on a parkway. Shipments go by car, but cargo goes by ship. When doctors work, they call it practice. "Phonetic" isn't spelt the way it sounds, and "monosyllabic" isn't. You can be ruthless but not have the characteristic of ruth. We used to wind up our watches to make them go but wind up a meeting to make it stop. Overtones and undertones can be the same thing. You can see the stars when they are out, but you can't see traffic lights when they are out.

Not to mention all the proverbial contradictions like "Many hands make light work" but "Too many cooks spoil the broth", "Actions speak louder than words" but "The pen is mightier than the sword", etc. On a side note, my favourite has to be "It's always in the last place you look." Well, of course - after that you stop looking! What kind of fool would say "It was in the second-last place I looked!"?

And of course, all the homonyms - "the bandage was wound around the wound", "After a number of injections my arm was even number", "The sewer dropped her sewing down the sewer", "The farmer produced produce", and so on.

Or Tucson and Arkansas. Weird pronunciation is not just a British thing.

I once worked in a Reception class (4-year olds) who were being taught about number names. I felt their pain. Their teacher told them to write the words...one, two.... But - how can '1' start with 'O' ??? Why isn't it 'W'?? And then why does '2' have a 'W' at all?? THEY DON'T MAKE SENSE!

I once worked in a Reception class (4-year olds) who were being taught about number names. I felt their pain.

Wellington lost his eye (poked out by an arrow) and his life in the battle of Agincourt to protect the vagaries of the British language, warts and all! :P B)

We Yanks can't explain it either. Kansas is pronounced 'Kan-zess', but Arkansas, is 'Ark-en- saw'. Go figure. Yeah, even Tucson is a name to ponder. 'Two- san'. There's a city in Illinois called Cairo, as in Egypt, but it's pronounced 'Kay-row'. I can try to explain all the Native American Indian names here but we'd be going for hours.

Milngavie, anyone?